My Childhood

I wander through my thoughts, searching

Hoping to find something of substance

But all I can see is a cLuttered mess

Stretching out for miles

You tell me I have talent

That I have the wOrld and more

All in the palms of my hands

Why then?

Why do they feel so empty when I grasp?

Why does the Sun remind me of your fiery words

Scorching my being into ashes?

Why does the rain remind me of your cold stare

The way you looked at me with shame?

Why was I left with such a fragile foundation,

Every sTep I take shaking me to my core?

Did you never think I was weak?

You, who are strong, mustn’t have

You must thought that causing me grief as a child

Would cause a bright, strong man to be born

Yet here I stand

Unable to remember anything peaceful before my third year

In elementary school

Now that I’m older you treat me far kinder

Perhaps it’s your method of atonement

But even this leaves me confused

Am I meant to forgive you completely?

Am I wrong to remember these emotions of pain?

Now, all I’m left with is uncertainty and questions

As I continue to wander around the labyrinth of my mind

Picking up pieces of me

To rebuild myself anew